Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Rare Birds

On my last post I received comments from some  'regular' commenters I am terribly fond of...there are quite a few of them that I would love to meet in the 'real world', but I also received a comment from a new (to me) blogger...lovely to see a fresh face, fresh ideas...so I toddled over to her blog to take a peek.

There Polly was talking about spending time with old friends vs strangers, and whether the Old Friends always win over.
I have to say, I think she's right, the friends we have through all our life's little ups and downs (sometimes big ups and downs) know us the best, and there is real comfort in being close to our special friends.

Though while we are on the subject, good girl friends are jolly hard to find - not all women make good friends, and sometimes through my life I have discovered that some friends do not have your best interests at heart. Perhaps as we age (it's got to be the only upside) we learn how to sort the wheat from the Chav?

In my life now there are two women who I think of as my dearest friends, you know, the ones you could ring in a crisis, the ones you trust to keep a secret, the ones who will give you their honest opinions and bring you back down to earth if you are being too princessy!
This special sort of friend is a very rare bird indeed... even rarer if they are the kind you can have a spat with, get over it, and resume normal service again afterwards.

My BF, there's lots I could tell you about her. I ought to hate her - blonde, tall, intelligent, witty, glamorous and exceptionally thoughtful...but she really is impossible to dislike. 
We share our highs and lows, we console each other about our children's misdemeanours (and discover all children are the same). We have the occasional whinge about our lovely Husbands (we do appreciate them really!). We compare notes on life's little challenges...most of all we get laughter, huge compassion and support...unconditionally.
I do wish BF was the sister I never had... she's a gem.

Then there's my dear friend P, how she manages to sync being spiritual, beautiful and incredibly funny I don't know? 
She is one of those people who radiates loveliness and calm...I would like to be more like her...but often my behavior is less admirable!

Sadly this is the real world, and rare birds like BF and my lovely friend P are endangered species! 
Too many women are spiky to other women, or gain perverse pleasure, by putting the cat amongst the pigeons.
Why they get a kick from this is a good question...and without too much psychoanalysis I think the answer lies in their own confidence - so does that mean that our best friends have to have chutzpah?
Perhaps the answer lies with my Mother in Law's favourite phrase...she always says with a grin "I am growing old disgracefully!" She doesn't care about her age, she just wants to have fun, and be close to those around her - she genuinely wants to make them happy too.

So thank you, lovely rare bird bloggers, for there are a good few of you out there in blogworld who are 'virtually' friends! It never ceases to amaze and delight me that so much empathy and support is spread across the oceans via cyberspace. You are fun and insightful...and as I said at the top - I would love to meet a good many of you in real life, for I suspect you are the kind of women who make really fabulous friends.
Although I do wonder - does not meeting in real life make it easier to be a good friend, and if so how much of that is as a result of writing? 
Perhaps thinking about what you are writing to someone, as opposed to opening ones mouth and engaging brain afterwards (a trick done too often by me) is a easier way of having friends?

Whichever way - I am a lucky old bird.

BF, P and pals, and all you fabulous cyber-gals...thank you for being you!