Sunday, 29 June 2008

Skipping

Lest any of you gorgeous bloggers out there suspect my life of being too full of bliss, let me share what happened last month....it's taken that long to sort it all out!

I feel I can share my shame after reading Suburban Correspondants blog....mmm, the blogosphere - are we just all members of one huge AA group? - Pardon the pun!
(the AA in the UK is a car breakdown and rescue organisation)
Firstly, I will try to persuade you that there were mitigating circumstances to my error of judgement!
I made lunch for someone I hadn't seen in ages...she spilled out her relationship woes....I listened, mopped tears....did tea and sympathy.

Then immediately afterwards I had to jump in the car to collect the children from school....I drove carefully enough (although my mind was racing about what she had been through)...the problems started when I went to park.

As I was running a smidgy bit late, the road was really crowded .
Aha - bliss - I spotted a really good sized space a little further along the road, just the other side of a skip (dumpster)



It was one of those moments you shout a little "hurrah" - someone kind is looking down on you!
As I drove towards the said skip, another car wizzed towards me from the opposite direction - thinking she was going to 'ding' my car, I shimmied into the space, and out of her way....

Well, that's what was supposed to happen - except I ended up scrunching up my own bodywork.

Did you know skips have really sharp corners?

I caught the back passenger door on the corner of the skip - I knew this, because there was a gut wrenching sound of metal ripping metal!

Now, being stuck hanging inelegantly off the corner of a bright yellow skip isn't a very comfortable position to be in....especially when you are outside school - and all the Yummy Mummies happen to be watching your skipping antics from their Pork Cayennes.

I tried to think quickly how best to unhook myself -
Should I drive forward?
Should I drive backwards?

Girls, I have to tell you - I did BOTH....
Both resulted in even more metallic crunching noises, and wincing from the Yummy Mummies - they almost registered horror (far too much Botox to actually register real horror).

My girls surveyed the damage - there was much eyeball rolling, and muttering about what 'Daddy' would say.

Once safely home, I rang my insurance company....after answering a zillion questions the best one they came up with was -
"And did the skip suffer any damage?"

I bit my lip hard - what I wanted to say was - "It was a naffing great big metal skip - it's fine - it's my car that's scarred".....but I had already spotted the deliberate mistake -
it was a huge great naffing yellow skip - so how the hell did I manage to hit it

Senior moment or school girl error - neither a good option!

The Insurance company sorted everything out, except that because it was my fault they wouldn't loan me a nice little German car while my nice little German car was in the garage......
Perhaps because I am the stupid woman who parked in a skip, and can't be trusted!
No, instead I get to borrow the dreaded garage loan car.....dah, dah, dahhhhh - yes, you've guessed it - a tin can on wheels.

The chirpy chappy from the garage said - "Ahh, we have a loan car for you - it's a Renault Clio Campus"....I will translate - a car for poor students - fabulous - I remain unconvinced that there actually was an engine beneath the bonnet, and pulling out at junctions was like playing chicken, since you were never quite sure if it would make it across the road.
I know I should have been grateful...and I was...it's just...

As if having the Yummy Mummies watch my antics wasn't punishment enough!