Thursday, 13 March 2008


Over the next year I intend to bore you all rigid with tales of our building project...but I thought this would amuse-

Telephone conversation with local builders suppliers -

DC: "So, what types of roofing slate do you sell?"

Salesman: "Ermm, well, we stock loads of one kind, which you probably wouldn't want to use, but we can get other types..."

DC: "Why wouldn't I want to use them?"

Salesman: "Errrrmmm, well, they are turnips."

DC: "Turnips?" (Is this new term for something c***?)

Salesman: "No, really, you wouldn't want those, they haven't even got a guarantee, let me find out about the other types, and I'll call you back." (at least he seems honest - to a fault - no wonder they have loads of stock!)

DC: "Thanks." (Not holding out hope here)


DC: "Hello?"

Salesman: I've found out that information you wanted - we do a really nice textured slate...made of concrete."

DC: "Concrete? I wanted Slate..."

Salesman: "Ohhhh, I see - would that be clay slates madam?"

DC: "No, SLATES made of SLATE!"

Salesman: "Ermmm, what, actual Slate?"

DC: (through gritted teeth) "Yes, SLATE!"

Salesman: "Ohh, I'm not sure about real ones...I call you back."

DC: (weakly) "Thanks."

DC: (sinks to floor clutching head and moaning) "I only wanted slates!"

Given that this conversation is hot on the heels (not Prada, Darling) of the fake Chinese eggs, DC is feeling a little weary that everything in our world is fake.....good job you lovely bloggers keep it real!