Oh, where did I go wrong?
Whilst currying favour with No 2 child, buying cute inuit style slippers in the Everythings White Linen shop, she spotted “The Yummy Mummy’s Handbook” ... “you need this mummy” said my dear child.
When I asked if she really thought this was necessary, she nodded sagely!
I’ve baked, cuddled and ‘been there’...so where did it go pear shaped - maybe at exactly the point my bottom did?
A great friend has recently invested in Botox...maybe to be a REALLY yummy mummy I need this plus some lyposuction, face lift / transplant and a 4x4?
Because what ARE the yummy’s? They definitely aren’t proper Mummies - by definition they are too manicured, too perfect.
Real Mummies have scalded arms from reaching into the Aga to retrive carbonised remnants of the children’s baking attempts, dog hair on their clothes and always have the feeling that they’ve forgotten something important (like parents evening).
Having thought about it, I think I’ll stay a slummy, saggy mummy just being a Mummy is the best bit - as my trainee teenager would say - whatever!
Instead I think I’m going to create a new term - Uber Mummy - she is a proper Mummy, who has Kitchen with integral craft cupboard! And that is where I failed!
9 years ago